Irked.

So, my ex runs a book club, of which I used to be a member. Indeed, the book club was the site of our first meeting, and somehow, over the course of our tumultuous relationship, in some funny way, it came to stand for the status of our relationship. When things were going well, we appeared at book club together and happy. My first pregnancy ended in a lot of blood, the morning of our sixth book club together, and she broke my heart by going to book club, and then out to dinner afterwards, as if nothing had happened. Our first breakup also happened on a book club day, and though we eventually got back together, our mutual friends, when mentioning that month's meeting, would always avert their eyes and say, "Oh you know, the month you weren't there."

Today, in the library, I ran into a book club acquaintance, who I hadn't seen in many months. His first words were, "We missed you last night at book club!" Upon explaining that my ex and I had broken up, and I was "taking a break" from our monthly gatherings, he graciously changed the subject, and asked about my summer plans. Well, I said, I'm having a baby in a few months, so I've been trying to get as much done as possible before then.

I watched him do the calculations. A recently ex girlfriend. A baby coming in just two months. "Oh," he said, "I'm sorry. Well, I guess I won't say congratulations."

For a moment, I was speechless. Really? Single parenthood is that terrible? Finally, I composed myself and said, "Actually, congratulations are most definitely in order. I'm very excited, and can't wait to meet my kid."

But something about that moment stung for the whole afternoon afterwards, and left me feeling sad all over again about my weird book club exile. Hey kid, if you're listening in there, I can't wait to start a new book club with you.